The Holidays Are Coming

With the Holidays around the corner I am finding the nights getting harder and harder. With Patrick away it is hard to carry on the Holiday Cheer. These last few nights I have been in bed unable to sleep, thinking about how badly I want him home. But I know he isn't here, he has a job to do. I always tell people having him deployed through the Holiday season is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because not only is he helping others around the world, but it makes those couple of months fly by. We are still able to celebrate Christmas for the true reason of the Holiday. It is a curse for obvious reasons, wanting him home to celebrate with us. Bianca has been more vocal these last few days about how much she misses Daddy. I feel her pain, but i'm sure the hug and reassurance that I miss him too does not make her feel any better. Both girls listen to their Daddy Bear (a build-a-bear with a message from Pat) daily which does make them feel a little better. I often fight back tears because I need to remain strong. I have made a wonderful new friend out here, which is helping her and I both through this time. We often joke about our husbands annoying little habits, and the way they pick on us. (It's funny how much those two are alike.) As much peace as it brings to have her, it doesn't heal the loneliness of my heart. His side of the bed is always made, his clothes hang in the closet, and I sleep with my cell phone by my head. I keep a pair of his shoes out in the middle of the floor to remind me how he always leaves them. I am grateful for every call I get, every IM chat time, and email he sends. Often I think of the many wars before now when the wives left at home rarely received a letter. As depressing as this post is, I am very grateful for everything in my life. I have an AMAZING husband who is my best friend, and 2 beautiful girls that drive me crazy, but I love them dearly. So let's all try not to get wrapped up in the stresses of the Holidays, and remember that there are many families out there who will not see that special someone until they go to heaven. Be thankful for what you do have, instead of greedy for what you don't.