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Thursday, February 19, 2009

I love revelations!

One of my classes I am currently taking is a Live Vision Portfolio class. This class is all about understanding why you are who you are, and realizing things you didn't know about yourself. I absolutely love this class. Even though I have slight hesitation with each assignment my focus is intact again, and I have finally decided what I want to do. I honestly believe that my stroke was the experience I needed to councel individuals who have suffered a TBI. I want to share the assignment I did for you all to read. I had a true realization while writing this assignment, and my instructor left me a comment telling me I should think about working with TBI. Her comment was the final reassurance I needed. Enjoy!

The time that I see as one of my Key Highlight moments is a time span of 2-3 years. The summer before my Senior High School year started I found out I was pregnant. From that moment, my life obviously changed forever, and over the next few years I faced many challenges. The next few years have some of my happiest moments ever, but also were the hardest years of my life. My Key Highlights come from the most difficult time in my life, not my best. In the following 3 years, I became a single teenage mother, graduated High School, moved out of my parent’s home to a place of my own, got married, earned my Associates degree, and that whole time I worked a full time job.

In January 2000, I was 26 weeks pregnant. Five months away from Graduating High School, and four months from giving birth I suffered a stroke due to a blood condition that was not detected. (This is a story in itself that I hope I get the chance to share some day.) I was unable to attend school, and had no short term memory. I also suffered to a constant headache, confusion, and honestly I had no idea what was going on around me. My parents brought in a family friend that was also a teacher of mine to help tutor me. I had one class left to finish, and even though I don’t remember much from that time I do remember one question he asked me: “Do you know how to balance a checkbook?” I answered yes, and he said, “OK, you passed now let’s get to work.” What he meant by this was; it’s time to rehabilitate your brain. He didn’t tutor me on school work, but games that made me think. My daily tutor sessions revolved around memory games, video games, counting games, hand eye coordination, and so on. He helped me study for my ACT’s and even though my brain was not ready, he encouraged me to take the test.

Now that a little history has been explained, you can probably see why my key highlights are so extremely important to me. Four months after my stroke I had my daughter, five months after my stroke I walked across the stage at my Graduation with Mr. Matthews at the stairs to greet me. It would have been easy for me to stop there and blame my stroke for holding me back, but I didn’t. I promised myself when I found out I was pregnant that I was not going to be one of those teenage moms that collects welfare, and never amounts to anything. About three months after graduation, I moved out of my parent’s house because I wanted to prove to the world I could do it. I also started working on my Associated Degree. At eighteen years old I was a mom supporting myself and my daughter, working a full time job, and attending 18 credits per semester. In April of 2002 I married my husband who I met during my pregnancy, and in January 2003 I graduated with my Associates.

These times have shaped me as a person who knows you have to work for what you want. Life doesn’t give freebees and as easy as it is to give up, giving up is not an option for me. I may need encouragement, and occasional confidence boosters from people, but I have never given up on myself. I feel that because of those couple of years, I have so much to offer people and I am proof that a person cannot make excuses to not do things. If there is a will, there is a way. I may not be the best mom in the world, but I sure do try. If my stroke had not happened, I may not have been so determined to work as hard as I did. I would have graduated from High School, and moved out, but I’m not sure that I would have the look on life that I do today. I do see each day as a blessing, and I am not as quick to judge people.

My key highlights are special because it’s my personal story of achievement and accomplishment after a tragic event. A brain injury often disables people from the world around them, but I made it through and I continue to make it through every day. I proved to my family and friends as a teenage mom, I was not going to depend on them for everything and that I could be a good mom. I continued my education after High School, and I am now continuing my education once again. I married my best friend and it has been the happiest seven years of my life. My kids will be able to see me succeed and when they get older they will understand the challenges I went through, and hopefully have the same determination with life that I have. I have a completely different outlook on life now, which I didn’t have before. I was determined, I achieved, I didn’t give up or quit, and I made it. That is what makes it special.

Whenever I feel down or don’t think my plate can be piled any higher, I remember those times and how I made it through. Those times are a reminder to me that the hard times will pass and the reward is worth it in the end. I am constantly setting new goals for myself and have things that I look forward too. The specialness of my key highlights is a part of my regular life every single day. Every time I look at my oldest daughter I remember the struggle I went through, and she has a better life because I was determined to succeed. Because of the pride I held being a single mom for 2 years and succeeding, it makes it easier for me to deal with my husband’s deployments being on my own. After every deployment I see things I could have done better, but I know I survived and made it through. I remember the feeling of Graduating from High School, and my Associates and I constantly strive for a lifetime filled with the same pride, but I know struggles have to come in order for that to happen. When a person hit’s rock bottom, the only place to move is up, and that’s when that special feeling takes place. I don’t like to dwell on the past because it only holds you back. A person has to get past the hard times. I made it then, and I will continue to make it every day.