Ok, it's been a while

I know it's been a while since my last blog post so I thought I would give a quick update on our family. Life have been absolutely wonderful since Patrick has been home. I forget how easy life can be when there is someone to share the responsibilities of life with me.

One of the first things Pat did when he returned home is become assistant coach to Britnie's softball team. He loved the opportunity since he wasn't home in time to coach a team himself. He received a plaque at the end of the season and was very honored by it. As much as he loves this family, he has that itch to deploy again. He loves what he does, and unfortunately in order for him to do his job he needs to be deployed.

Britnie has been in Colorado for the summer with her biological dad and his family. She seems to be having a good time and is able to spend a lot of time with my parents. It's amazing how fast she is growing and it's hard to believe she will be in 4th grade this year.

Bianca spent 4 weeks with my parents this summer and was able to ride on a plane for the first time as an unaccompanied minor. She thought she was hot stuff! She grew about 3 inches in the time she was there and has lost 2 teeth since she has been home. She continues to be a bookworm and is anxious for school to start.

I should be finishing up my degree in March. I missed my chance to finish in December because of my last minute decisions. I had every intention of finishing in March and then decided (once Pat came home) I wanted to finish in December so I could start working. Unfortunately, I am unable to take 23 credits in the fall semester in order to finish my degree so it will have to wait until March.

We are still living in this disgusting base house, but there is hope in sight. They have moved out most of the people in the old houses and are currently on the cul-de-sac before us. This time next month we will hopefully be in a new, beautiful, bug free home. Keep your fingers crossed for us because they always find a way to post-pone our move.

Today is the day!

Only 7 hours left until our family is together, and it couldn't be going any slower. It has been so hard keeping it a secret from the girls. They think he is coming home on Thursday but like we always do, we are going to surprise the girls. Tomorrow is Britnie's birthday so Pat is going to wake the girls up in the morning (which is going to be the best wake up of their life) and cook the family a pancake breakfast. How awesome is that that he is going to cook, and I don't have too lol. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they realize that daddy is right there infront of them.

My friend Claire came by earlier today and I ran outside when I saw her. We started doing our silly happy dance and jumping around like little school girls. It was so fun and exciting to have that burst of craziness. After our little dance, we came inside and started playing a card game called "slaps". For those who know how to play speed it is the same concept, but much funner. We threw a twist on the game by having my dad hide one of the cards so we ended up running through my house looking for the joker. It was so much fun and it did make the first few hours go by fast.

My girls should be home from school soon and then it will be time for girl scouts shortly after that. After we get home from girl scouts, they are going straight to bed so I can start getting myself ready to go. I'm hoping that the last couple of hours don't take as long as this day has.

So for now, this is the update of my torturous day. 6 1/2 hours and I will have my husband home!!! YAY!!!

Make the week end!

So.....here I am only a handful of nights before Pat returns home and I feel like I have so much to do, but no motivation to do it. I have accomplished a lot, but the things that really need to get done I keep putting off. I washed and put away all of his clothes the other day which I really enjoyed. I think that was one of the few times in my life I enjoyed laundry. My parents got into town this last weekend and they took the girls for the week up to Virginia. You would think this would be the perfect time for me to get things done, but I haven't. I have enjoyed the peace and quiet with no places to be but it sure makes the days go by slow. My school work is getting the best of me. I started my psychology class last week and have been working non stop to try and get ahead in that class so I'm not stuck in front of the computer working on school once he is home. My degree is already an accelerated major so our classes are only 5 weeks long. I am trying to get a 5 week course done in 2 1/2 weeks. It isn't working so well. I can't even seem to focus long enough to get the reading done. I feel horrible because I am stressing about it so much and all I want to do is get it done. Oh well, I guess I will just have to figure it out and get as much done as I can before he gets back. I'm not willing to ruin my 4.0 GPA because I want to rush through a class. I keep procrastinating to deep cleaning because i want to do that the day before he gets home. Tomorrow I will be taking his car to get cleaned and an oil change and other than the stuff already mentioned, everything is done. I guess it doesn't seem like a lot, but when emotions are high and you can't focus for 5 minutes it seems like an impossible task. Come early next week all of my stresses will be behind me and what doesn't get done will eventually get done in due time. I am ok with the fact that I won't get everything done that I would like too, but at least I have enough stuff to do that I will keep busy. (even if I can't focus.) The last time I heard from his he said it would be the last time until he returned home. I think it is harder now not being in contact with him than it was during the deployment. It must be the fact that I know he is in route home and I just want to know where exactly he is. So for now, this has been a nice rambling session for me and I'm sure it is hard for any readers to follow, but I just needed to get it off my chest and relax a little bit. Hopefully the next time I post on here it will be because I have more exact information. Very soon, but not soon enough he will be home.

Pat's return

I do have some updated information on Pat's return....finally. I do not have an exact day or time yet, but it will be early next week some time. Keep up with this post for the latest information on his return because it will be one of the first places I go with new info. Please remember, due to security reasons I will not be posting the exact time table of their travel but feel free to send me an email if you would like more specific information. As of now I do not have any info other than what I already said, but throughout the next week or so I will know more.

Another update, with no new information

I realize that the time is getting closer before Pat comes home but I have yet to hear any new details about his exact return. I have not forgotten to call people, and i'm not forgetting to update the blog. I just don't know anything yet. The main body did return this last weekend, so any day now I should get a more accurate time frame of his arrival. I promise everyone that when I know, information will be passed. Trust me, it is just as nerve racking for me as it is everyone else.

It has been a busy couple of weeks, and luckily these next few weeks will be even busier. I find myself finding more and more things to do whether they are fun projects, or just projects that have been put on hold. At least I can't complain that I have nothing to do.

Before I post this..... When I do have information I will not be putting the exact information on the blog, but I will post that I have new info and get the information out to everyone.

The final weeks

It's definitely crunch time here at our house, and I couldn't be more excited.

The last time I talked to Pat he said that he was going to start sending home his stuff in the next few weeks. That is the best mail a person can get! I remember last time when it arrived all I wanted to do was open it and feel like a part of him was already home. Of course Pat wouldn't tell me the combination for his locks because of gifts for us, but I did manage to pull out a few shirts that smelt like Iraq. He made me promise not to break into his footlockers this time when they arrive....we will see. I still don't have any new news on a more accurate time frame of his arrival, but, like I always say, I will keep you posted.

The girls start softball and tee ball this week on top of all their other activities. I am so happy that Pat will be home for most of the season this year. He wasn't able to make it to any of their games last year and I know it is going to mean so much to all of them to have him here. I'm excited because of all the sports I know about, baseball is not one of them. I just wish he was here in time to take them to pick out their mitts and bats.

School is keeping me so busy. As much as I enjoy it, I wish I could just take a break for a few days. I have been spending so much extra time on my classes so I can get ahead and focus on the small things to get done around the house the last few weeks before Pat gets home.

Britnie has TERA NOVA testing this week and of course, her yearly allergy fit started over this last weekend. She is growing up so fast, and is becoming such a lady. She's like a Minni mom. For almost a week now she has woken up before me and started my coffee. She puts about 3 spoonfuls of coffee in verses my 1/2 cup of grounds, but I love waking up to fresh Britnie coffee.

Bianca has been all about the kitchen lately. The other night she wanted to "prepare dinner" for us, so I was all for it. She said she wanted a healthy dinner so she made a fruit and veggie salad. She peeled her own cucumbers and cut her own apples (after I took the cores out). She was so proud of herself and her salad. It was a mixture of grapes, apples, oranges, cucumbers, carrots, and we had beets on the side. She is getting ready for a growth spurt because she has been eating so much lately. For anyone who knows Bianca, she is a very picky eater.

I can't believe how fast this deployment has gone by. Although it seems like an eternity since I have seen Pat, it also feels like yesterday that he left. I am so glad that I booked our schedules full of activities and things to do to help pass the days. It makes such a difference. These last few weeks are no exception. Next week I will start pulling out all of his clothes to wash and put away, as well as try to get our house in shape. After finding out we aren't getting one of the new houses until July or August, I decided to try and make this house a home for when he gets back. It is nice not having to walk around boxes in every room.

So for now this is the update, but I'm sure there will be a wide range of emotions on this blog over the next few weeks. It is so awesome to say "only a few more weeks" instead of "a few more months."

Random thoughts at 3:30AM Let the sleepless nights begin!

Here it is 2:40am....wait it's spring ahead so it's 3:40am and I can't sleep. The anticipation of Patrick coming home in about 7 weeks is starting to get the best of me. I miss him so much but all I can think about with him coming home is how he is going to be gone again in a few short months. How are we as a family suppost to make up the time of the last seven months in such a short amount of time of him being home? (I know these answers but please bare with me as I process my thoughts so i can try to sleep.) It's so hard to start preparing for the next deployment when he isn't even home from the current one. I do have to say this last deployment has gone by so fast compared to the first one, but it isn't much comfort. All I want is for him to be here, to play with the kids, to pick on me to the point that it annoys the living crap out of me, to take charge of the kids for just one day, go to the beach as a family, drive around looking for something to do and to never find anything so we end up going home to watch a movie as a family. MY FAMILY, That's what I miss. Not me and the kids, but Husband, Wife, Kids, and dog. In the mean time I'm tired of repeating the answer "I don't know" 100 times a day when people ask me for more information on when he gets home. When I know, everyone else will know. I may not know until the day before that happens. I understand that's hard for people to make plans and everyone wants phone calls but I am relaying what I know, when I know it. My biggest fear is that Britnie and Pat aren't going to get enough time together since she goes to Colorado for the summers. She has had to make the biggest adjustment of all of us, and I think her spending time with us as a family is so important to her. That's all she talks about anymore, "it doesn't feel the same without daddy here." It's been so hard on her to leave one dad in Colorado, and another one be gone for almost the whole time we have lived here. She needs that assurance.

More random thoughts:
There are so many things that still need to get done that I just can't find the time for. I still need to get our taxes done, but my days are filled with housework, and school work. I refuse to take the kids with me while I get the taxes done, but our weeknights are so busy I couldn't do it then anyway. Honestly I think I'm scared to get our taxes done after our foreclosure. I want to get his car cleaned really good, and a tune up on his bike, and unpack/wash all of his clothes that are still in his footlockers. I was hoping to lose some more weight before he got home but I don't even make time for the gym. I'm trying to get ahead in my school work that way when he get's home I'm not stuck infront of the computer all day. I have a GPA of 4.0 so far and I want to keep that. I'm afraid that if I can't get ahead before he get's home I will start to slack off. It wouldn't be the end of the world if I got a B in a class, but for anyone who knows me if I set my mind to something, very little can stand in my way. That has been a HUGE stress on me lately.

One more thought before I close this rambling session. I know people have thought about coming out here and I think everyone knows Pat's and my wishes but just in case you don't here they are. We don't care who comes out when he get's home but we are asking that if you come, we are giving you until the first weekend in May. We love our families dearly but we do not want visitors every couple of weeks the entire time he is home. There is always an adjustment period after a deployment and the fewer interruptions in that process the better for us as a couple and a family. We need to find our routine as a family again. I don't care who sleeps in our house if you are here before he get's home but we are asking that once he is home for you to get a motel room. We feel it is important for us to have that space as a family. I'm sorry if you think this is selfish of us in anyway, but if you have been in our shoes I know you understand it and agree with it.

For anyone who is still reading this I hope it made sense. I know when my brain get's going I jump around a lot. I would not be surprised if I am the only one who knows what I just typed. Oh well, when it is 3:30 in the morning and I don't feel like waking anyone up to call them I guess the blog is the best I can get. So good morning to everyone and have a wonderful day. I am going to try and sleep now. Hopefully my brain will slow down once my head hit's that pillow.

HAHAHA I just looked at the clock. It's 4:22am now. I've been sitting here for almost an hour and yet I am still typing. OK seriously, I'm going to bed.

I love revelations!

One of my classes I am currently taking is a Live Vision Portfolio class. This class is all about understanding why you are who you are, and realizing things you didn't know about yourself. I absolutely love this class. Even though I have slight hesitation with each assignment my focus is intact again, and I have finally decided what I want to do. I honestly believe that my stroke was the experience I needed to councel individuals who have suffered a TBI. I want to share the assignment I did for you all to read. I had a true realization while writing this assignment, and my instructor left me a comment telling me I should think about working with TBI. Her comment was the final reassurance I needed. Enjoy!

The time that I see as one of my Key Highlight moments is a time span of 2-3 years. The summer before my Senior High School year started I found out I was pregnant. From that moment, my life obviously changed forever, and over the next few years I faced many challenges. The next few years have some of my happiest moments ever, but also were the hardest years of my life. My Key Highlights come from the most difficult time in my life, not my best. In the following 3 years, I became a single teenage mother, graduated High School, moved out of my parent’s home to a place of my own, got married, earned my Associates degree, and that whole time I worked a full time job.

In January 2000, I was 26 weeks pregnant. Five months away from Graduating High School, and four months from giving birth I suffered a stroke due to a blood condition that was not detected. (This is a story in itself that I hope I get the chance to share some day.) I was unable to attend school, and had no short term memory. I also suffered to a constant headache, confusion, and honestly I had no idea what was going on around me. My parents brought in a family friend that was also a teacher of mine to help tutor me. I had one class left to finish, and even though I don’t remember much from that time I do remember one question he asked me: “Do you know how to balance a checkbook?” I answered yes, and he said, “OK, you passed now let’s get to work.” What he meant by this was; it’s time to rehabilitate your brain. He didn’t tutor me on school work, but games that made me think. My daily tutor sessions revolved around memory games, video games, counting games, hand eye coordination, and so on. He helped me study for my ACT’s and even though my brain was not ready, he encouraged me to take the test.

Now that a little history has been explained, you can probably see why my key highlights are so extremely important to me. Four months after my stroke I had my daughter, five months after my stroke I walked across the stage at my Graduation with Mr. Matthews at the stairs to greet me. It would have been easy for me to stop there and blame my stroke for holding me back, but I didn’t. I promised myself when I found out I was pregnant that I was not going to be one of those teenage moms that collects welfare, and never amounts to anything. About three months after graduation, I moved out of my parent’s house because I wanted to prove to the world I could do it. I also started working on my Associated Degree. At eighteen years old I was a mom supporting myself and my daughter, working a full time job, and attending 18 credits per semester. In April of 2002 I married my husband who I met during my pregnancy, and in January 2003 I graduated with my Associates.

These times have shaped me as a person who knows you have to work for what you want. Life doesn’t give freebees and as easy as it is to give up, giving up is not an option for me. I may need encouragement, and occasional confidence boosters from people, but I have never given up on myself. I feel that because of those couple of years, I have so much to offer people and I am proof that a person cannot make excuses to not do things. If there is a will, there is a way. I may not be the best mom in the world, but I sure do try. If my stroke had not happened, I may not have been so determined to work as hard as I did. I would have graduated from High School, and moved out, but I’m not sure that I would have the look on life that I do today. I do see each day as a blessing, and I am not as quick to judge people.

My key highlights are special because it’s my personal story of achievement and accomplishment after a tragic event. A brain injury often disables people from the world around them, but I made it through and I continue to make it through every day. I proved to my family and friends as a teenage mom, I was not going to depend on them for everything and that I could be a good mom. I continued my education after High School, and I am now continuing my education once again. I married my best friend and it has been the happiest seven years of my life. My kids will be able to see me succeed and when they get older they will understand the challenges I went through, and hopefully have the same determination with life that I have. I have a completely different outlook on life now, which I didn’t have before. I was determined, I achieved, I didn’t give up or quit, and I made it. That is what makes it special.

Whenever I feel down or don’t think my plate can be piled any higher, I remember those times and how I made it through. Those times are a reminder to me that the hard times will pass and the reward is worth it in the end. I am constantly setting new goals for myself and have things that I look forward too. The specialness of my key highlights is a part of my regular life every single day. Every time I look at my oldest daughter I remember the struggle I went through, and she has a better life because I was determined to succeed. Because of the pride I held being a single mom for 2 years and succeeding, it makes it easier for me to deal with my husband’s deployments being on my own. After every deployment I see things I could have done better, but I know I survived and made it through. I remember the feeling of Graduating from High School, and my Associates and I constantly strive for a lifetime filled with the same pride, but I know struggles have to come in order for that to happen. When a person hit’s rock bottom, the only place to move is up, and that’s when that special feeling takes place. I don’t like to dwell on the past because it only holds you back. A person has to get past the hard times. I made it then, and I will continue to make it every day.

It hit me today, my baby is growing up

Britnie has been working on her very first essay this last week and last night she needed to re-write her final copy. For some reason it hit me like a speeding train that she is growing up. Yes, yes, you know that your kids are growing up, but sometimes they do or say something that makes you stop in your tracks and it sinks deep into your soul and you realize how fast they are growing up. This was one of those times. I am so proud of her, she did such a great job collecting the information and writing it out. I have a video of her reading it, and I hope it post. (i'm going to try.)

While i'm on here, a quick update on the cookie sales and other things:
The girls are doing very well and are about 50% to their goal. When the weather decides to warm up and act like NC instead of winter in Colorado, we will walk our neighborhood some more.
Pat is still doing well and anxious to get home. The first of the Marines got home yesterday, and over the next 3 1/2 months more teams will be getting home. I still don't have an exact timeframe on him, but when I do, you will know. It is exciting to know that they are in the process of finishing up their work and are slowly getting home.
I finished up my second class 2 weeks ago, and WHOO WHOO I got another A! It's amazing what a little hard work can do for a grade lol. These next ten weeks are going to be extremely busy because I have 2 classes going at a time which means my reading doubles. YUCK! It works for me though because by the time these next 8 weeks are over, it will only be a few more weeks or days until my hubby get's home.

It's that time of year, GiRl ScOuTs RuNnInG WiLd

It has officially started, the craziness of Girl Scouts outside every store you enter and exit. I am proud to say that Britnie and Bianca are going to be part of that madness this year. Only 6 days into the sell and one night of calls made my girls have reached just over 20% of their goals! They each have a goal to sell 100 boxes of cookies, which is 200 boxes I have to manage. (YIKES WATCH OUT THIN MINTS.) I know with many of you out of town it will be harder for us to reach these goals, however, we have a solution. There is a program called "Operation Cookie Drop" which is where you can order cookies and Girl Scouts Office will send them to troops over seas. There is no mailing cookies, or picking which kind. For those who want to help my girls reach their goal all you have to do is call or email me with how many boxes you want to order and simply put a check in the mail (made out to me). For you out of staters, if you would like to order cookies for yourselves rather than donate to the troops I would be more than happy to figure out a way to get them to where you are at. I will keep everyone posted on how my girls are doing with their goals. I know each and everyone of you would like to be a part of helping their goals be accomplished ~wink~ wink~. Happy cookie eating, and Good Luck!